Link's Untold Story
by CuteOne
Summary: Hey! Hey! Look at this story, its my first story and I wanna know if its funny or not, so please give me your honest opinion, and give me some tips too, thanx everyone!!!
1. Link's Untold Story

Link's Untold Life (the story the other stupid narrator never told)  
  
Cute One (narrator): None of you peoples know this, but the hero of time wasn't always so majestic, loyal, brave and smart. He was once (and who knows still secretly may be) a drunk, lowlife with no view of intelligence whatsoever in his head. He was very horny ALL THE TIME! But I could stay here and tell you the entire story by my words.BUT.I WON'T, cuz it just won't be fun. Sooooo.lets go back in time and see Link as he used to be!!!  
  
Link: Zelda!!!! Where are you baby, we gotta go!!!  
  
Zelda: Go where?!  
  
Link: Go to the car, remember? Yesterday we decided that we would bang each other in the car afta we did it on the table..*whining*  
  
Zelda: I was high and you were drunk remember, dumbass? I wasn't thinking right.  
  
Link: Well, I WAS!!!!  
  
Zelda: No! You no what?! I don't wanna be your girl anymore you bastard!!!  
  
Link: ........FINE!!! I'll find other sluts to take your place!!!  
  
Cute One: So far, you've met Link before he was the Hero of Time. Keep on reading.ok.Link is now in his NEW girlfriend's house, because Zelda was a prep and he didn't need her.  
  
Coolies: Link! There you are, I was lookin all over my "Multi-Million Dollar House" for you *giggles as if she's tryin to turn him on*  
  
Link: *snoring* zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz  
  
Coolies: MULTI-MILLION DOLLAR HOUSE!!!!!!  
  
Link: Huh? Oh, hey noodles.  
  
Coolies: Noodles??? WHAT THE FUCK!!!!  
  
Link: Well, baby, I gotta call you somethin cute, don't I?  
  
Coolies: Well, it WOULD be nice if you just call me like, um, I dunno, like, baby, or sweetie or something.  
  
Link: No way noodles! Those are way too original, I need something unique.  
  
Coolies: ............. Ok... Whatever!  
  
Link: Want me to bang you?  
  
Coolies: WELL, isn't that question just so off subject. But, ok!  
  
After they banged each other, they lay happily in Coolies bed, thinking about how satisfied they were, and then, there was a knock on the door.  
  
Cute One: Find out who was at the door and if Coolies is pregnant or not on the next chapter.Enter Tushoyami and a bit of Coolies. 


	2. Enter Tushoyami and Angel

Chapter 2: Enter Tushoyami and Angel  
  
Cute One: So, last chapter, we asked questions like."Who the hell is at the door?" and "Is Coolies PREGNANT?!" (Ok, that's a gay question but whatever.) Let's find out in this chapter, Enter Tushoyami and Angel.  
  
Coolies: I'll get it, sweetie!  
  
Link: *snoring and talking at the same time* zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzoooooooooookkkkkkkzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzznnnn nnnooooooooooooooddddddddddllllllllleeeeeeeeessssssszzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...  
  
Coolies rushes to the door. Coolies: Hello? OMIGOD! I haven't seen you in a while!  
  
Tushoyami: Yeah, I know, so, where is Link?  
  
Coolies: How do you know about Link? I never told you! *Very confused*  
  
Tushoyami: Well, some dude off the street gave me psychic powers, not a big deal really..  
  
Coolies: Um. yeah.  
  
Tushoyami: I brought friends for the baby shower today!!!  
  
Coolies: ??? What baby shower?  
  
Tushoyami: YOURS! You're pregnant dumbass.  
  
After Coolies awakens from her sleep, because she apparently fainted, she finds herself..AT A POOL?  
  
Coolies: Where am I?  
  
Link: At a pool, Noodles, duh!  
  
Coolies: +_+ STOP CALLING ME THAT!!!!  
  
Link: Sorry.  
  
Coolies recognizes everyone at the pool, its Darunia (again fighting with Saria about rocks and flowers), Ganondorf and Nabooru, Rauru (as fat as ever.), Skull kid, Ruto, Tatl and Navi, Zelda, Impa (the he-she.) Everyone was here!  
  
Link: OMIGOD! It's my Ex, hide me!  
  
Coolies: Oh, shut up! Coolies is walking around and she meets.  
  
Cute one: Hi! My name is Cute One, but for some reason, everyone calls me Angel, so you can call me that too. Cute One is my narrator name.  
  
Coolies: Hey, name is Coolies, I need help getting rid of that girl Zelda, MY Link is drooling ALL over her again!  
  
Angel: Sure thing, oh, by the way, love your confetti, I have some too, it makes me so "Special" ^_^ Anyway, lets take care of Zelda.  
  
Coolies: Awesome. *in a devilish way*  
  
Next Scene: Chapter 2  
  
Link is in the hot tub with Zelda. Tatl and Navi are in there too, making out, (oh, I didn't tell you, their Lesbos.0_0)  
  
Link: *dreamily* Sooooooooooooo. what have you been doing lately? ...... ........  
  
Zelda: *all pouty and fake* I miss you SOOOOOOO MUCH! But I'M just a slut remember?  
  
Link: Slut? Hehehehehe. Did I say THAT? No, no you're a princess with a GREAT rack (that wuz stupid but, he had to say somethin.) and a castle o_0  
  
Zelda begins to touch Link in those "Special" places. and being oh so intimate with people, he got horny and his cock-o-doodle went up AND down.  
  
Saria and Darunia stop fighting and stare 0_0  
  
Rauru Attempts to get in the hot tub and join in with the fun, but he is rejected!  
  
Rauru: Damn!  
  
Zelda: ...Faggot  
  
Link and Zelda begin to eat each other's faces off.  
  
Later on, Coolies figures out that she is not pregnant.  
  
Tushoyami: Well that was a waste of time. Oh well, let's all go swimming!  
  
*crickets chirping*  
  
Tushoyami: Oh, come on.  
  
*everyone thinking of excuses, cuz they wanna go home*  
  
Raru: Uhhh. I can't fit into my swim trunks.  
  
Tushoyami: *muttering to herself* Yeah. we know.  
  
Impa: ............  
  
Zelda: Ohhhhhh. LINK! ..........  
  
Link, Looks at Coolies who's face redder than hell. Her face scares him so, he jumps out of the tub and attempts to escape, but Coolies attacks and sends him flying into the pool, where Coolies beats him up beyond belief.  
  
Link: Ahhhhhhh...*gurgling* ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhelp *gurgling*........  
  
Coolies: *Evil laughter* hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!  
  
Angel takes care of Zelda by erasing her from the story.  
  
Tushoyami dresses into an awesomely cute bikini with "Special" written on the butt. Since they have nothing else to do, everyone begins to change into their suits. Rauru is wearing swim trunks that say "Obese and proud!" Impa swims in her clothes because HE doesn't want anyone to find out he is a MAN. Skull kid wears trunks that say, "Trees are my friends." Link is still drowning in the pool and Coolies proceeds to attack. Darunia is wearing a one piece, girl swimsuit that says "Rocks Rock!" Saria dresses in a disgustingly puke green bikini that says, "Forests are fun".? Anyway, Angel dresses in a sky blue, bikini and a cool little golden halo to go with it (floats above her head.) After, Coolies is finished beating the shit out of Link she emerges from the depths of the water, wet and very pissed.  
  
Ganondorf: What's wrong with you? Are you PMSing? *laughs under his breath, but too loud*  
  
Coolies: =0 NO DUMBASS!!! NOW, LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!  
  
Ganondorf trembles at the sight of an angry woman. So, Nabooru must comfort him. o_0  
  
And of course right when Coolies Turns her back, Link makes a run for the pool entrance and heads to his sanctuary, the place he loves more than life.the bar.  
  
Cute One: Find out what Link plans to do there and who he'll meet. And, how will Coolies feel, when she finds out that her punching bag has escaped? Well, you don't know yet, haha. Read the next chapter to find out! 


	3. Meet Jinx

Chapter 3: Meet Jinx  
  
Cute One: As I said b4, Link ran off and went to.The Bar. Let's see what happens.  
  
Link: *panting* Finally.......................I....made.......it..........  
  
Mr. Moo: Hey mister! I'm Mr. Moo, owner of this fine bar, what would you like?  
  
Link: Uhhhhhhhhhhhh. I'll have a pint of the "Old Ass Ale" and um, do u sell sandwiches here?  
  
Mr. Moo: Yes, and only the best!  
  
Link: Ok, I'll have a Hero's Sandwich, than.  
  
Mr. Moo: Coming right up.  
  
Link sits down next to an odd man that's, like half animal and half man.  
  
Link: Hey dude!  
  
Odd man: Uhhh. hi.  
  
Link: Hey, I'm Link! What's up?  
  
Odd man: um, my name is Jinx, and I'm smoking a cig.  
  
Link begins a conversation about girl's tits, when Mr. Moo interrupts him.  
  
Mr. Moo: Here's your drink mister! And your sandwich! Ciao.  
  
Link eats his sandwich and drinks about two pints of "Old Ass Ale" then; he switches from the ale to the alcoholic drink "The Screwdriver." Link was so drunk.   
  
Jinx helped Link get out of the bar and into fresh air.  
  
Link: Wow! That was some light show! Jinx: What are you talking about?  
  
Link: The light show! Oh, nevermind, you weren't there.  
  
Jinx: ???  
  
Link: Well, I better be going, Coolies will be searching for me by dark, if she finds me she'll beat me up for making her search for me in the dark, see ya!  
  
Jinx: Yeah, bye! *under his breath* what a troubled kid.its really sad.  
  
After a long and hard journey across the parking lot, Link's slow body, sat down.  
  
Link: I'll never make it to the pool in time! She's gonna kill me!  
  
Cute One: Will Link ever make it across the parking lot? How will Coolies feel after she knows that she will have to search for Link? Well, read the next chapter! 


End file.
